Death Spiral
by Fenestra
Summary: AU. Elsa Diani (AKA the "Ice Queen") is a world-renowned figure skater. She's living the dream...or maybe not. After all, she's not called the Ice Queen because she's the proud owner of a world-class refrigerator or something. It's going to take quite a bit to penetrate that frosty exterior...if you can call the spunkiest redhead around "a bit," that is. Elsanna, but no incest!
1. Prologue

**A/N:**

Hey, all! Thanks for dropping by to check out this humble story of mine. Please feel free to fav, follow, review, and spread the word! I'm also open to PM's regarding plot suggestions and any other things you may have to say.

Rated M for language and sexual themes.

**Disclaimers: **I own none of the characters involved in this fiction. All rights belong to Disney.

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_Death Spiral_

**Prologue**

With a soft scuffle, the slim blonde figure skater pirouetted effortlessly twice in the air before landing to the sound of riotous applause from the crowd. Twirling and striking a pose, Elsa Diani finished her routine with a flourish that was so well-received by the audience, they all clambered to their feet for a rousing standing ovation. Though the nine year-old prodigy's face glistened with a sheen of sweat and her chest heaved with every breath, her face was alight with joy. But only those who knew Elsa on a personal level could recognize the barely-there tinge of arrogance that marred her dazzling smile. As the applause began to die down, she glided out of the rink with the slightest of smirks on her face, absolutely certain that she had swept the competition.

The next day, news of Elsa's first-place victory at the U.S. Figure Skating Championship Junior Division exploded all over newspapers and social media. The youngster's outstanding performance was completely unprecedented; people went so far as to speculate that Elsa would be the one to bring the sport of figure skating back into the public spotlight. The fact that the girl appeared to be modest and bashful only served to send her popularity skyrocketing even further.

The beginning of the reign of dominance of the "Ice Queen" was observed by millions of people, including one young little girl living in Arendelle. This little girl, only three years younger than the Queen, had followed her blonde-haired idol since day one. The day that Elsa Diani exploded onto the celebrity scene proved to be an eventful day in the Snowe household as well.

* * *

"Anna Snowe, I will _not_ be asking you again! Come to dinner right this instant!" shouted the girl's mother from the kitchen.

"Jus' one more meenut, mamma!" Anna pleaded. Being only six years old, her pronunciation was not exactly proficient, and her mind often moved too quickly for her chubby tongue. But this wasn't enough to offset the child's innate curiosity and immense ability to learn; she had already figured out how to use her dad's computer, and was often caught watching videos and reading stories with a gaping mouth and eyes as wide as saucers (and also a small puddle of drool that was usually stumbled upon by a very unfortunate father). But Anna's parents never had the heart to punish their adorable daughter for doing so, nor did they ever set a password to lock her out of the computer.

That day was different, though. Anna wasn't watching _My Little Pony_ reruns online or looking at pictures of cuddly puppies. She seemed to be completely fascinated by news of a prodigious young figure skater, whose recent achievements had earned her the nickname of "Ice Queen." Anna's pudgy hand clasped the mouse with fervor as she continued to scroll through yet another article detailing how Elsa Diani had taken the figure skating world by storm with her performance at the Championship. Brushing strawberry blonde bangs out of her teal eyes impatiently, she continued to peruse the story, her lightly freckled, heart-shaped face wrinkled in concentration. Of course, she didn't really understand some of it (if she were to be completely honest with herself, she really didn't understand most of it), but the few words that she _was_ able to comprehend made it all worthwhile. And it didn't hurt that there were pictures, either.

"_Don't make me come over there, young lady!"_

The child let out a giggle and leapt out of the chair with a look of intermingling delight and guilt, her tiny feet pattering out of her father's office and down the narrow hall. Unfortunately, as with her subpar pronunciation, her mind moved a little too quickly for her stubby limbs to keep up, and she ended up tripping over her own feet. But Anna was not one of those children who curled up and cried after a tumble; on the contrary, she sprung up with even more energy than before (if that was even possible), skidding into the dining room and clambering into her seat just as her mother was about to turn around and yell again.

Gerda Snowe looked at her daughter with a stern expression, though her eyes remained gentle. The stout woman wasn't _actually_ Anna's mother; despite how cliche the story sounded when told out loud, Gerda had found Anna as a newborn baby on her doorstep without any indication as to who her parents were, and had looked after her tenderly ever since. Gerda had tried to make it clear to Anna on multiple occasions that she wasn't her "real" mother, but she had also made it clear that she would take care of Anna as if she were her own. Naturally, being a child meant that Anna had the attention span of a hyperactive poodle and the memory of an aged and wizened goldfish, so Gerda's efforts were for naught. But that wasn't the issue right now.

The _real_ issue right now was Anna's refusal to come to dinner when called. Gerda tutted while resting one hand on her hip, the other flicking a soup-spoon disapprovingly. "Look here, missy. You need to stop spending so much time on the computer reading stories about that Spice Queen or whatever her-"

"Ma, she's the _Ice_ Queen, not the Spice Queen! You're such a silly poo sometimes! What's a spice, anyway?"

"Spice, darling? It's the stuff I put in your food to make it taste good, dear. And speaking of food, do you smell something burning…?" A pause, and then, "KAI! KAI, DEAR, KEEP ANNA COMPANY FOR A MINUTE, WOULD YOU?!" as Gerda dashed off to the kitchen, hastily turning off the stove before whipping out a towel and brandishing it in front of the blaring smoke alarm.

Gerda's husband bustled over, his glasses askew and his curly orange locks unkempt (evidently, he had dozed off in front of the T.V. as usual). Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Kai plopped down into the seat next to Anna with a groan before grinning down at his daughter. "Hey, there," he said cheerfully, before suddenly getting a sly look. "Had a good time sneaking onto my computer again?"

Anna's freckled cheeks blushed immediately and furiously, and she began chewing on her lower lip. "Um...I dunno what you're talking about!"

Kai raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Oh, really? So you're telling me that if I go to my office right now and turn on the computer, I _won't_ see an article about that figure skater you're obsessed with?"

Anna's blush deepened, her face now nearly the same shade of red as her fiery hair. "Okay, daddy, you got me. But I promise I'll twy, I mean, _try_ not to do it again!"

Her father let out a booming chuckle, his self-christened "mid-life crisis" belly bouncing in time with his broad shoulders. "Oh, you know I don't really mind, kiddo," he said fondly while ruffling Anna's hair. "But if you don't mind me asking, what is it about this figure skater that's got you so enamored?"

"E-enahmurred?"

"Oops, big word. It means fascina - nope, that's another big word. It means that you, uh, seem to like her a lot!"

Anna's look of confusion was immediately replaced with an expression of utter delight. "Yes, I like her a lot! She's good at figger skating, and I want to be good at figger skating too! Someday, I wanna be just like her, daddy!"

Kai chuckled again. "Figure skating, huh? Hm, I think your mother and I know a guy who can help you out with that…"

Gerda poked her head out from the kitchen, her plump face flushed and sweaty from the smoke pouring from the ruined pot roast. Evidently, her infamous keen ears had heard every word of their conversation. "Yes, dear, I like the sound of that! Do you remember that rather dashing young gentleman's name who we met at the ice rink a couple of years ago?"

Stroking an imaginary goatee (his face was, in fact, completely devoid of any facial hair at all, something that Gerda mercilessly teased him about), Kai mumbled, "Yes, what was his name again? Oh, that's right…"

"...Kristoff."


	2. Pain in the Head, Pain in the Ass

**I. Pain in the Head, Pain in the Ass**

_December 14th,_ _12 years later…_

"Let's try it again, and a-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, go! Keep those smiles going, both of you! Don't lose momentum on that stroke, Hans! Oh, don't look at me like that, do as you're told and keep skating! Hans, it's a salchow, not a lutz, how many times do I have to remind you?! Back _inside_ edge, not outside! Okay, okay, watch out, here comes the death spiral! _Hans, don't let her - ELSA!"_

Elsa's hand slipped out of Hans's large and thoroughly sweaty hand, and she let out a yelp as she fell backwards onto the ice, her head banging onto the freezing surface with a dull thump. Instantly, stars exploded in Elsa's vision as a searing, splitting pain ripped through her skull. The world was spinning and making her nauseous, even though she was lying immobile on the ice, and her limbs were completely paralyzed from the shock. Elsa's ears were ringing incessantly, further intensifying her headache; she could barely make out the words "Hans" and "dipshit" (her coach was infamous for his less-than-refined vocabulary) above the clanging din.

It seemed like an eternity before her ears stopped ringing and her headache dwindled enough for Elsa to blearily crack one eye open. And then immediately let out an unflattering squawk as she saw that she was mere inches from the bulbous nose of her coach. "Easy there, kid. Just wanted to make sure you didn't bang your head so hard that you wouldn't even react to a VIP close-up of this pretty face. How ya' feeling?"

Elsa groaned and raised a slender hand to gingerly run her fingers through the damp platinum-blonde mess on top of her head, wincing when she accidentally touched a tender spot. "Like shit. It feels like it hurts _everywhere_, not just my head."

Coach Phil nodded importantly. "Well, at least you didn't pass out or anything. Now _that _would have been a real sticky situation. Real quick, does it feel like you hurt or wounded anything else?"

"Ugh...you mean _besides_ my head and my dignity…? ...I don't think so."

"Well, at least that counts for something," Phil muttered, shooting the nearby bored-looking Hans a dirty look. "One last thing, let me make sure you don't have a concussion or anything, and then we'll get you some ice, okay?"

"Funny how ice is the thing that screwed me in the first place," Elsa mumbled.

"That's the spirit, kiddo. Now, open your eyes wide, please, so I can check your pupils. Okay, good, no problem there. Would you please follow my finger with your eye? Right-o. Now, what's your name, and what city do you live in?"

"Elsa, Arendelle."

"Last name?"

"_Diani_, Phil. My last name is Diani."

"Good, one last thing. How many fingers am I holding up?" Phil stuck four pudgy, hairy fingers in front of Elsa's flushed face.

"Four, Phil."

"No, actually, it's five. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Phil, I'm _really _not in the mood for your dumb jokes."

"Okay, okay, kid, don't get your knickers in a bunch," Phil grumbled. "But I was actually right, you know." He brought his other hand out from behind his back, revealing it to be brandishing a _very_ rude hand gesture. "I was flipping Hans off behind my back." The man in question scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Despite her nearly delirious state, Elsa was unable to stifle her giggling, covering her mouth delicately as she always did when she was amused.

"Speaking of flipping off that obnoxious prick, Hans! Get your ass over here," Phil growled while pointing at the ice near his feet, his posture eliciting images of a disapproving parent who was about to reprimand their child for doing some heinous deed, like deliberately splattering paint all their sibling during art time. Except Hans wasn't Phil's child, and Hans wasn't splattering paint on a kid, he was splattering _Elsa _on the ice.

Hans skulked over, hands in his pockets and looking resentful. "What do you want, Philoctetes?" Even from Elsa's rather withdrawn vantage point on the ground between them, the sight of his ugly expression sent a wave of intense dislike coursing through her.

Phil narrowed his beady eyes. "What did I say about using my full name? Now shut up before I smack you in the head and make you suffer through Elsa's pain. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Hans shrugged nonchalantly. "There's really nothing to be said, is there? Her hand slipped out of mine. I don't think you should be appropriating the blame for this on me, Phil. Mistakes happen. Oh, but I forgot, Little Miss Perfect over here doesn't ever make mistakes, does she?"

Phil's chubby cheeks turned beet-red, his eyes boring holes into Hans's chiseled features. "Need I remind you who you're talking to? Don't forget that it's only because of my sinfully generous nature that you're even standing here right now. I could name a dozen people at the try-outs who were just as qualified as you, if not more so."

With another scoff, Hans waved off his argument. "Oh, please. As if you would ever choose any of those other idiots over me. I don't know how half of those ugly warts managed to look at themselves in the mirror each day without puking or crawling into the corner and dying. Please don't insult my intelligence like that with such nonsensical arguments, Phil."

By this time, Phil's face had darkened even further into some never-before-seen shade of puce. "Do me a favor and shut your fat mouth so I don't have to do it for you. It's _Coach_ Phil to you, sonny boy, and I demand that you show some respect! Your attitude has been _shitty_ lately and I won't hesitate to bunt your ass out of here if this trend continues!" Phil's scratchy and slightly hoarse voice escalated into a shout.

Hans didn't even blink, merely raising an incredulous eyebrow. "Oh, will you, now? I'm not sure how valid of a threat that is, Phil, considering how _I'm the only damn one who knows our stupid routine_."

Phil stiffened.

"But I'm not an unfair man," Hans continued with a sleazy drawl. "I'll admit I haven't been the cuddliest of teddy bears these past few weeks in practice, but then again, neither have you. So I guess it's up to me to be the bigger man and apologize, then." At this, he inclined his head down towards the still-curled up and now-shivering Elsa. "I apologize for my dire mistake today, Ms. Diani, as well as for my recent...well, _unruly_ behavior. I do hope your head heals soon, and I look forward to having many productive practices in the future." He turned to Phil. "And as for you, Philoctetes, _I _would remind _you_ that you need me as much as I need you, and I expect an equal amount of respect from you in return for my own. And with that, I take my leave."

Bending over in an exaggerated and sarcastic bow, Hans fixed both of them with a glare colder than the ice upon which they stood. Then, straightening up, he brushed imaginary dust from his clothes before skating lazily away.

Phil fixed Hans's retreating form with a withering glare, looking as though he was trying to make him drop dead by sheer willpower. And he probably was, too, judging by how flushed his face was (Elsa was sure that particular shade of puce would have given black a run for its money).

Elsa was very worried by her beloved coach's mood. Despite his gruff exterior, Phil had a heart of gold on the inside, and Elsa knew that he wouldn't hurt a fly. He masked his docile nature with harsh words in order to present a "tough guy" façade to his students, but Elsa knew him better than that.

But Hans was an entirely different ballgame. His insufferable arrogance coupled with his snarky mouth was enough to drive anyone insane, and Elsa could tell that Phil was starting to feel the effects. Before meeting Hans, Phil had never treated anyone with such blatant dislike and disrespect; his mood had soured to the point where his already previously-high blood pressure was starting to bother him again. Elsa had been quietly informed by the doctor to "keep a close eye on him," but she hadn't been doing such a great job; today's argument with Hans was proof of that. What was it about Hans that made him so intolerable? It wasn't as if it was Phil's first time coaching a douchebag with an overinflated ego. Maybe it was Hans's devilishly good looks. Those high cheekbones and that strong jawline were enough to piss anyone off, right? Or maybe it was those incredibly stupid-looking ginger sideburns. Yeah. Definitely the sideburns.

As soon as she finished her train of thought, a fresh wave of agony split Elsa's skull. Oh god, it hurt to even _think_. She let out another pitiful moan, scrunching her face up at the pain. Her expression was comically contorted, her moans eliciting images of a fat walrus suffering a slow and agonizing death.

Phil's loathing expression was instantly replaced by one of deep concern and just a hint of guilt. "Oh shit, sorry, Elsa. Kind of lost my mind there for a second," Phil crouched down and said sheepishly. "Do you feel well enough for me to carry you to the car? I want to get you to the hospital just to make sure nothing's wrong."

Elsa groaned both outwardly and inwardly. _Shit. Hospital. Blood and needles. That's a "hell, no" if I've ever seen one._ "You know what, Phil? I don't think we need to go to the hospital. I feel right as rain!" She sat up and put on the fakest, biggest, and cheeriest smile she could muster, even though the world reeled around her and the back of her head protested furiously at the movement.

Phil looked at her, skepticism plastered all over his flabby features. "Yeah, right, I bet. The fact that you look like an elephant forced its way up your ass and died doesn't exactly have me convinced, though."

"_Really? _Was that imagery _really_ necessary? Have I ever told you what a bright little ray of sunshine you are, Phil?" Elsa grumbled good-naturedly. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, my head hurts. No, stop thinking like that. You are the master of your pain, Elsa. Conceal it. Don't feel it. _"Now, help me up. It's been a rough day and I want to go home and crash."

Phil responded with an admonishing finger. "Nuh, uh, uh! No sleeping for the next few hours, at least. We don't want you falling into a coma or anything, because I'm not frickin' House, M.D." He offered Elsa a hairy hand. "Alright, you big lug, up you get!"

With a yelp, Elsa was suddenly pulled upwards and onto her skates, knees wobbling precariously as she struggled to regain her balance. The struggle didn't last long though, as Elsa experienced the worst head rush of her life and immediately collapsed again. _Well, shit_.

"Wow. So much for being right as rain. More like right as pain, if you ask me," Phil remarked, chuckling at his own silly joke as he crouched down to scoop the limp blonde figure into his stocky arms.

"Oh, har-frickin'-har."

"Yeah, looks like we're still gonna have to make a trip to the hospital (_Goddamnit!)_ to make sure you're not seriously hurt. But I think you should take a few days off anyways, so you can rest your head and Hans can let off a little steam. Sound good?"

Elsa made a small noise of assent.

"Good. Now lets talk about the rest of practice today. I think your axel jumps need to be a little tighter, do you know what I mean…?"

Elsa couldn't concentrate on anything at the moment, so she merely tuned Phil's raspy voice out. He was only talking to make sure she didn't drift off, after all...

A flash of copper at the edge of her vision. Elsa didn't think anything of it, at first, thinking it was, perhaps, the sunlight reflecting off of a car or something.

But then she realized they were still indoors. _What the hell?_ She shifted her gaze towards where the flash was, but there was nothing there at all. Just rows upon rows of dull, navy-colored seats. Nothing special. There wasn't anything copper-colored there to reflect at all, and the arena's seats weren't very brightly lit to begin with...

...except for one seat illuminated by the tiniest pinprick of afternoon sunlight streaming in through the arena's lone window.


	3. A Bad Head Start

**A/N: **Hey, guys. Sorry for the late update...school really takes a toll, you know? :( Hope you enjoy this one!

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**II. A Bad Head Start**

_3 months earlier..._

THUNK!

"Ow, _shit_, Anna!" Kristoff yelped as Anna heaved the last cardboard box out of the truck and directly onto the blonde man's now-throbbing foot. "I didn't realize that when you asked me to help you move in, it was gonna be at the cost of a few broken bones." Having finished nursing his aching foot, he straightened up with a groan. "I swear I age twice as fast whenever I hang out with you."

Anna shoved him playfully. "Quiet, you big twerp. It's my first day as a college student, so cut me some slack, wouldja? And speaking of cutting some slack, quit being lazy and pick up that box!"

Kristoff grunted and glared at the box in question. "I still don't understand how one girl can have so much stuff to bring. Your dorm room is like the size of a broom closet! How is your roommate gonna fit all _her_ crap inside too?"

With a dismissive wave, Anna started the trek upstairs for the fourth time that afternoon, backpack slung over one shoulder and suitcase clunking along behind her. "_Please_, Kristoff. I know you've been my skating coach and my best friend for years now, but I don't need another mother in my life."

"Yeah, Gerda did a real good job on you," Kristoff snorted.

"Leave me alone, you oaf!"

"I resent that." Kristoff trailed behind Anna, the thud of his heavy footsteps making the entire stairwell tremble. "Speaking of your roommate, where is she? We've been unpacking for at least an hour now, and she's nowhere to be seen. Do you even know her name?"

"Um...I remember the RA mentioned it. It was something funky and foreign, I think. Eh, don't worry, we'll find out eventually."

After ascending another three stories, the pair arrived on Anna's floor, which was bustling with activity. Every door was ajar, and sweaty-faced college students were moving in and out of them at regular intervals. The sounds of shifting luggage, struggling freshmen, and amiable conversation created a hurried cacophony of noise that Anna already found comforting in a homely sort of way. It was starting to feel more and more like home by the second, and Anna couldn't suppress a grin at the thought. _Oh. My. God. It's really happening. This is really happening._ She turned to her companion with a dopey grin plastered on her face.

Kristoff obviously didn't share her sentiments. He looked like he had just been forced to eat a generous helping of...well, something that he didn't like to eat. Anna wasn't really the best at analogies, but Kristoff _did_ have a look of distaste on his face that he didn't even attempt to conceal. It made his wide forehead wrinkle and his blond eyebrows furrow together. His lips were pursed, making them paler than usual, and his normally warm brown eyes were narrowed in suspicion. He looked like a little kid confronting an arch-nemesis on the school playground, and Anna burst out into a fit of giggles at the sight.

The blonde-haired man shifted his glare towards Anna, who was still struggling to contain her laughter. "And what are you laughing at?"

Anna wiped away a tear from her crinkled teal eyes. "You, you big lug! You look like you want all these freshmen to die horrible deaths."

Kristoff huffed. "In my defense, I had a terrible time in college, okay? Being a huge fellow like me while also loving figure skating isn't exactly a formula for success or popularity. Plus, I hate people. Look, can we just get this over with? Being around so many sweaty, stinky children makes me uncomfortable."

"Alright, alright! Thanks a _ton_ for helping me out today, by the way!" Anna flashed her gleaming set of pearly whites at Kristoff, who merely rolled his eyes.

"Nice try, feisty-pants. Don't think that buttering me up is going to make me go any easier on you at practice tomorrow."

"Crap."

They picked their way through the commotion, occasionally staggering whenever an overexcited freshman wasn't able to slam on the brakes quickly enough. The flurry of activity hadn't abated one bit for the several hours that the pair had been here, but the atmosphere hadn't seemed to extend to Anna's dorm. Every trip they had made so far, the room was empty and tranquil, a completely separate entity from the rabble happening just on the other side of the well-worn wood of the door.

But this time, it was different. This time, it sounded as if someone else was in the room already, judging from the frustrated grunts and ringing thuds emanating from within.

Anna and Kristoff peered into the doorway and were greeted with the sight of a slender girl with short brunette hair struggling to lift an enormous, bulging box onto one of the room's two beds. Kristoff chuckled at the sight and heaved Anna's box onto her bed before lumbering over to give the girl a hand.

"Oh, thanks!" she said brightly, wiping her brow and plopping down onto a well-worn beanbag at the foot of her bed. Her striking green eyes widened when she saw that Kristoff was a guy. "Um...you're not my roommate...right?"

"What? Oh, no, I'm not, don't worry. _That's_ your roommate, actually." Kristoff gestured vaguely in Anna's direction. The relaxing girl perked up, dashing towards the doorway and vigorously wringing Anna's hand.

"Oh, _hi_! It's so nice to meet you! I'm Rapunzel, but you can call me 'Punzel or 'Punzie or something like that for short! Sorry about the mess, by the way, I'm just plumb tuckered out, you know?" Rapunzel turned around and dashed back to her beanbag, pretending to swoon and collapsing on top of it with a _poof!_

Anna was left standing in the doorway, her hand still awkwardly sticking out from when Rapunzel had been shaking it before. Her expression was one of intermingling shock and bemusement. Kristoff shot her an inquiring look, but she showed no signs of introducing herself or otherwise acting like a civil person. He sighed and, with an apologetic look on his face, turned to face Rapunzel, who was still draped over her beanbag with a melodramatic hand pressed against her forehead. "I'm sorry, she's not usually like this," Kristoff explained. "She's usually a lot more - "

"EEK!"

" - rambly." Kristoff muttered as Anna scampered towards Rapunzel with a delighted squeal.

"Hi, I'm Anna Snowe, but everyone calls me Anna for short, because, you know, it's kind of my first name and I know you just got here and you just met me and all that but please, _please_ don't judge me for making this huge mess before you got here because I was frustrated and wanted to unpack everything at the same time and I, well, ended up unpacking everything at the same time...and I guess I didn't really save that much time since I've been here for hours but - "

"Okay, okay, feisty-pants, stop right there before you blow a gasket or something," Kristoff interrupted with an exasperated look. "See what I mean? Rambly." He staunchly ignored the piercing glare that Anna shot his way.

"No, no, that's okay!" Rapunzel chirped. "I like outgoing people. Friendships form a lot easier when people are talkative." She squirmed, trying to find a more comfortable spot on the beanbag. "And I'm kind of quirky and hyper and eccentric all at the same time, so being 'rambly' is a plus in my book!"

"See, Kris? Not everyone is a reclusive little turtle-hermit like you are," Anna taunted.

Kristoff held up both hands in defeat. "Well, since I've obviously been outvoted here, this looks like the time to take my leave. Need anything else, Anna?"

"No, I think that's the last of the boxes. But thanks again for coming to help me move in!"

_"Oof!"_

Anna had tackled Kristoff, wrapping him up in a fierce hug. Kristoff wheezed for a moment before ruffling Anna's fiery hair fondly. "Anytime, kiddo. Just go easy on the hug next time, okay? These old bones don't move like they used to, you know." He clutched his back, a comically pained expression on his face.

"You haven't even hit thirty yet!"

"Well, I _am_ a big dog person. Sometimes I like to think I'm a dog in spirit. So if you think about it, I'm actually almost 210 years old in dog years." Kristoff waggled his eyebrows.

"Your sense of humor is about as old and dry as you are, then," Anna fired back with a smirk on her face.

"_Ouch_, that one was ice-cold. And it looks like it's really time for me to go now." Kristoff lumbered out the door and into the hallway before poking his head back into the room, shaggy blonde hair flopping haphazardly. "Remember, practice at 5 tomorrow!"

Anna dismissed him with a careless flap of her hand. "Yeah, yeah, just get going before you embarrass yourself again somehow."

Kristoff scoffed and rolled his eyes before taking his leave.

Anna turned around with a fond grin on her face, but sobered immediately when she saw that Rapunzel had been watching their entire exchange with a bemused expression.

"What?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

_"What?"_

"I mean, you guys looked super comfortable with each other," Rapunzel remarked with a shrug. She heaved herself off the beanbag and began busily unpacking the boxes strewn all over her bed. "It just seemed like the natural conclusion to make, you know?"

Anna pretended to gag. "Ew, no! We're just best friends. Plus, he's like ten years older than me, so that would be super weird."

"Oh, please. Age is just a number, Anna."

Anna made another noise of disgust before moving to unpack her own things. "Gross. He's just my best friend, and he also happens to have been my skating coach for as long as I can remember."

Rapunzel turned around with a look of surprise on her face. "Skating? Really?"

Anna shrugged. "Yeah, since I was six. What's it to you?"

The brunette tapped her chin with a thoughtful look at Anna, who was now poking her head under her bed as she crammed a box into the tight space. "Oh, nothing...you just struck me as the type of girl who'd be a little bit, I don't know, clumsy? Not trying to insult you or anything, of course," she added hastily.

"Clumsy? Who said I was clumsy?" Anna's indignant and muffled voice wafted out of the crevice. "Because I sure don't think I'm - "

CRACK!

"Ow, _shit_!"

Anna withdrew from under the bed, moaning and clutching the spot on her head where it had struck the unyielding and unforgiving bed frame. Rapunzel struggled to stifle her giggles as she went over to comfort the wailing girl.

"So...not clumsy, huh?" Rapunzel gently teased as her hands rubbed soothing circles on Anna's back. "You really have me convinced now."

"Yeah, you got me there," Anna mumbled pitifully. The initial shock had worn off and had been replaced by an incessantly throbbing ache.

"Here, lemme have a look." Rapunzel carefully peeled Anna's hands away, wincing when she saw the wound. "Well, it could have been worse. You might have a little lump and some bruising, but nothing a little ice can't help fix. I think I saw an ice machine downstairs, if you want me to go get some?"

"Please do," Anna groaned, sliding to the floor and leaning her head back against the side of the bed.

Rapunzel nodded. "Sit tight, okay?" Quick as a flash, she darted out of the room, leaving the door ajar behind her.

Considering she had a few minutes to herself, Anna closed her eyes and began ruminating on the day's events. Probably not the most glamorous start to her college career, what with struggling to lift a few boxes and forcing her roommate to fetch some ice to alleviate the pain from yet another one of her silly blunders. But a bad start didn't necessarily set the tone for the rest of the year, right? _And it wasn't even that bad of a start_, Anna mused. She did make a new friend who already seemed like a keeper, even though Rapunzel's clothes and room decorations seemed to betray an almost indecent love of the color pink. She cast an amused look at her own boxes, several of which were filled with clothes and ornaments colored with every imaginable hue of the rainbow. Definitely not that much better than Rapunzel in that aspect.

Her train of thought was cut off by three tentative knocks. _Back already, huh?_ Anna cracked one eye open, peering at the doorway. Peering right back at her with a concerned gaze was...well, an incredibly attractive brunette girl, and not Rapunzel like she had expected.

Anna's eyes widened. Now that she got a better look at the concerned girl in her doorway, she felt her original description didn't do her justice. She wasn't _just_ an incredibly attractive girl. She was probably one of the prettiest girls Anna had ever seen in her life, even including pictures. Anna wasn't sure what it was about her that made her so divine. Was it the perfectly sculpted face that was gorgeous yet warm and inviting at the same time? Or was it that killer body that was slender and yet had curves in all the right places?

The girl cleared her throat nervously.

_Well, shit. I'm staring, aren't I? Way to go, Snowe. Off to a blazing start already._

"Um, hi," the girl said. "I'm Belle. I hope I'm not interrupting anything...am I?" she trailed off timidly.

Anna, still stunned into silence, shook her head with a rather dazed look on her face.

"Oh, good," Belle said, sounding relieved. She adjusted her glasses.

_She has glasses? I didn't even notice. Yeah, because I was too busy checking the rest of her out 'cause I'm a perv. But hell, I'm not complaining, she looks _adorable_ in them. Wait. Shit. She said something, didn't she? Shit. Say something, you twit!_

"I-I'm sorry?" Anna stammered.

"I said, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay," Belle said patiently. "I heard a really loud noise, that's all."

"O-oh, yeah! Yeah, everything's great! Absolutely great! Never been greater, thanks for asking!" Anna hitched a grin on her face. _Too enthusiastic. What, are you_ _trying to creep her out before she even finds out your name? Wait. She doesn't even know your name. Tell her your name before you freak her out again!_ "I'm Anna," she blurted out. _Smooth._

Belle laughed. It was such a magical sound. Tinkling, lighthearted, and graceful. Anna felt another ludicrous grin forming just listening to it. "Well, it's very nice to meet you, Anna. I have to go finish unpacking, but I can tell I'm going to want to drop by later."

"And why is that?" Anna said, looking confused.

"Oh. Um, no reason. I just…" All of a sudden, Belle's elegant façade vanished and was replaced by a fidgety, awkward, and completely unelegant exterior. "I just think you're really cute, that's all." Belle's voice was soft, and she suddenly seemed intensely interested in a bit of dirt on the floor, scuffing at it with a sneaker. She adjusted her glasses a second time even though they hadn't budged an inch.

Anna gaped. _She just called you cute, you dimwit! Say something!_ "Um…" _  
_

"I should go. I-it was really nice meeting you, Anna. Yeah. Bye," Belle muttered. And just like that, she was gone, out of Anna's sight.

Anna leaned back and groaned. _That couldn't have been more awkward. Damn. Why wasn't I gifted with charm and an eloquent tongue_? The throbbing in her head had eased a little when Belle was there, but now it was back with a vengeance. _ But…_ Anna smiled. _She _did_ call me cute_. _That's gotta count for something, right?_

A series of rapid thudding sounds was all the warning Anna had before Rapunzel raced back into the room, a bag of ice clutched tightly in one hand. "Here, I got the ice!" She held the bag gently against the back of Anna's head. "Feeling better?"

Anna made a noise of assent, a stupid grin still plastered on her face.

"Hey, what are you smiling about? The ice can't feel _that_ good, can it?"

"I'll tell you later, okay?" Anna murmured.

_Hmm…_

Maybe not such a bad start after all.


	4. Goddess of Social Interaction

**A/N: **Hey, all. I swear I'm still alive! I apologize profusely for the lateness of this update. :( School and finals took up a lot of my time...but hopefully I'll be able to update more regularly now! This chapter is a bit longer than the other ones to make up for my tardiness. :D Enjoy, and thanks for sticking with me! Don't forget to fav, follow, and review :)

* * *

**III. Goddess of Social Interaction**

_One week after the events of Chapter 2..._

Architecture building...

Engineering wing...

Science department...

_Where the _hell _is the lecture hall?_ Anna's feet pounded a furious cadence on the pavement as she sprinted across campus, twin braids flapping in her wake. All around her, groggy college students were shuffling to their morning classes with caffeinated beverages clutched in a death grip. She did her best not to collide with any of them, but there was simply no time to weave in and out of the crowd. Besides, Anna was sure that a thundering redhead was a more effective wake-up call than a double espresso could ever hope to be.

She glanced down at her beloved Dora the Explorer wristwatch. 'It's limited edition,' Anna would boast about it to anyone who would listen. But her prized timekeeper had failed to live up to its glorified status for the first time in her life, and on the first day of college classes too! Anna had set her trustworthy watch to wake her up at 8 a.m. sharp, but it hadn't rung for some reason. And now she was running late.

9:04.

Anna shared her 9 a.m. General Chemistry course with Rapunzel, but the sprightly brunette had another class even earlier in the morning. How _anybody_ managed to get around on this godforsaken campus was beyond Anna. She felt like it was large enough to fight for its own independence, if its inhabitants were so inclined.

9:07.

Hadn't she seen that building already? Was she running around in circles? Anna figured that she should have probably asked for directions earlier, but there was a stubborn streak of pride in her that resisted. She wanted to prove to herself that she was independent and mature enough to do something as simple as finding her first class of the year on her own.

Evidently, she had overestimated her own abilities.

She was now nearly ten minutes late, with no hope of finding the lecture hall on her own. Anna glanced hopefully at her surroundings one last time before conceding defeat. She stumbled over to a nearby bench where a young boy was sitting and reading that day's edition of _The Arendelle Tribune_, intending to ask for directions.

Wait. Young boy?

"E-excuse...excuse...me?" Anna panted, clutching a stitch in her side.

The boy looked up from the paper. He had messy tufts of jet-black hair, a pair of enormous bifocals which contained lenses that must have been an inch thick, and two ridiculously oversized buckteeth. His shoddy appearance did not inspire confidence in Anna.

"Hi!" The boy chirped. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah...yeah. Could you tell...tell...sorry, I'm a little out of breath, but could you tell me where I can find Dunbroch Hall?"

The boy nodded eagerly, obviously glad that he could help. "Yeah, why?"

Anna was confused. "...because I need to get to class? Do you think you could show me the way?"

"Yeah, why?"

She was getting a little impatient now. "Look, do you know where it is or not?"

"Yeah, why?"

Anna didn't have time for this crap. "Okay. Never mind. Thanks for your help." She was turning to walk away when she heard the boy speak up.

"Wait a second!"

She turned back with a frustrated expression on her face.

The boy looked crestfallen and ashamed. "I'm really sorry. I guess I'm not the brightest when it comes to talking to people." He gestured vaguely in the direction of the science department. "People always have trouble finding Dunbroch. It's tucked away behind the science wing and away from the main path, so freshmen always pass by it."

Anna gave a curt nod. "Thanks." She was about to sprint away, but she caught another glance of the boy's dejected expression and stopped herself; she couldn't help but feel a little guilty. "Hey...I'm sorry I was a little rude to you."

The boy perked up. "Oh, that's fine. I suppose it's hard to _not_ be impatient with someone like me."

Anna suddenly realized exactly how young the boy looked. He was as thin as a stick and probably hadn't even reached the 5-foot mark yet. "If you don't mind me asking...what grade are you in? Not that you look young or anything!" she added hastily. "But, well, you actually sort of do, I suppose, and then you mentioned 'freshmen always pass by Dunbroch' so I just thought…" she trailed off rather lamely.

"I'm a junior, actually," he said proudly. "But I'm only 15 years old. I took college-level courses in middle school and qualified for early admissions."

"That's actually really awesome! I wish I were as smart as you," Anna grinned. "But I'm really sorry, I actually do have to get to class."

The boy's face fell again. "Oh, y-yeah! Sure, no problem." Anna felt another twinge of guilt.

"But, I mean, if you ever wanna hang out or something...you can find me at the Baker dorms. Just ask for Anna. What was your name again?"

"Olaf!" the boy peeped. "Should I come to Baker later today, or maybe sometime - "

"Any time's good!" Anna called over her shoulder, already dashing off in the direction of the science wing.

_Strange kid, but nice enough, I suppose_, Anna thought. She mentally patted herself on the back. _Look at you, Anna, making more friends already!_ Her internal celebration was cut short, however, when she glanced down at her watch again.

9:13.

Anna cursed.

* * *

Needless to say, Anna was unsuccessful in her attempt to sneak into the lecture hall unnoticed. She had toyed with the idea of giving some inane excuse to explain her tardiness but gave up when she failed to come up with anything. _As if she would ever believe that my alarm just _happened _to fail on the first day of classes_, Anna thought grimly as she approached the entrance to Dunbroch.

Anna had just slipped through the doorway and was sneaking up the stairway when a grating, raspy, voice stopped her in her tracks. "Nice of you to join us on this charming morning," the professor drawled from somewhere behind her. "What's your name, _sweetie_?" The flabby woman's voice was dripping with irony.

Anna turned slowly towards the desk at the front of the hall where the professor sat, a bored yet appraising look on her face. "It's Anna. Anna Snowe."

"Well, Ms. Snowe, have a seat. Even though you seem to think of yourself as above the concept of punctuality, make sure this doesn't happen again, or you'll regret it."

Anna scowled and trudged up the rest of the steps, doing her best to ignore the feeling of hundreds of pairs of eyes that seemed to drill holes into her body. She was just about to sit down between a boy that was struggling to stay awake and another that was taking notes furiously when she heard a "_psst!_" from a few rows above her.

Rapunzel was gesturing frantically at Anna to sit in an empty seat beside her. Anna nodded gratefully and jogged the rest of the way up before unceremoniously plopping herself down next to her roommate. "Where were you?" Rapunzel hissed. "I've been saving this seat for ages, and I don't think you understand the number of creepy guys I had to turn away!"

Anna groaned softly. "Sorry, 'Punzie. My alarm didn't wake me up, for some reason."

Rapunzel scoffed. "Limited edition, my ass."

"Hush. What has the professor covered so far?" Anna tugged a notebook out of her backpack, the interior of which was somehow already jumbled and disorganized. "Mind if I copy your notes?"

"No, I don't, but there's really not much to copy. Roz hasn't really gotten into anything yet. It _is_ GenChem, after all."

"...Roz?"

"Yeah, everyone calls the professor that, apparently. Just roll with it."

"Great…I thought professors weren't supposed to be so mean, especially on the first day of classes."

"It's Roz, can't expect anything else."

"Fantastic."

Anna looked around the hall. It was massive and could comfortably accommodate several hundred people. The architecture was modern and sleek; there were no visible beams or support structures of any kind, and the space was well-lit by bright white LED bulbs. It was rather overwhelming to take in all at once, so Anna shifted her gaze to her fellow students seated around her. It didn't look as though anybody found Roz's lecture particularly interesting, especially given how her nasally and gravelly voice was difficult to listen to. Many of the students were snoozing with no shame whatsoever; Anna spied kids collapsed in puddles of drool on their desks or draped over their chairs (and sometimes each other) in a tangle of limbs. Roz continued to drone onwards, seemingly oblivious to the drowsy ambience around her.

With a poorly concealed yawn, Anna bent forward and was just about to tug a pen out of her bag when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. A sleek brown ponytail. Flawless, fair skin. And those unmistakable thick-framed glasses.

Belle.

Anna blushed furiously and immediately turned her head away from where Belle was sitting, one row below her and slightly to the right. She honestly wasn't sure why the mere sight of Belle evoked such a reaction from her. After all, Anna hadn't even officially met the girl yet, and here she was, getting all hot and bothered after getting a glimpse of her during a morning lecture! She cast a surreptitious glance at Rapunzel. The brunette was busy scribbling something down into her notebook and hadn't taken notice of Anna's antics.

This was her chance. Rapunzel wasn't looking. She could observe this incredible girl from a safe distance without the possibility of being embarrassed. _There's a word for that, you know_, her rational side chided. _Ever heard of 'creeping?' Because that's what you're doing. You're creeping. Creeper. _ But Anna had never been a firm believer in rationality.

She took a peek at Belle again. Anna had to admit, it was a much better view without the haze of a near-concussion clouding her vision. Belle had opted for a simple outfit today: skinny jeans, a baggy gray sweater, and a turquoise circle scarf to complete the ensemble. She didn't seem to be paying attention to the lecture either, and was doodling in her notebook. Anna was entranced by the adorable look of concentration on Belle's face as she worked, and she felt herself drowning in the warmth of those gorgeous hazel eyes…

Wait. Hazel eyes?

_Shit, she's looking right at me, isn't she?_ Anna inwardly cursed.

_Karma for being a creeper,_ her rational side crowed.

_Shut up. _

Anna jerked her head away so quickly that she could almost feel a cramp setting in. Rapunzel glanced up from her notes and gave Anna an inquisitive look before resuming her work. Anna leaned back in her chair with a sigh and massaged the side of her neck. _That went about as well as it could have._

She organized her things in preparation for the rest of Roz's monotonous lecture, but not before casting one more longing look in Belle's direction. To her utter shock and delight, Belle was still looking back at her, a small smile gracing her features and her hand raised in a shy little wave.

Anna smiled shyly in return. Her insides suddenly seemed to be dancing the jitterbug.

_Ha! Take that! Score one for Anna!_

Anna spent the rest of the morning in a Belle-induced trance, with a dreamy grin plastered on her face.

* * *

"Hello? Earth to Anna. Anna. _Anna_."

"...yeah, that's...yeah...huh?"

"Nice of you to rejoin us lowly, Earth-dwelling creatures."

The bell had rung around ten minutes ago, and Rapunzel and Anna were on their way to the food court for a quick brunch. But apparently, Anna's mind was set on other more….well, _alluring_ things.

"...what are you talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know," Rapunzel tapped a finger on her chin thoughtfully in an epic display of sarcasm. "But I'd bet my left pinky toe that you were thinking about Belle just now."

"Um, why your left pinky toe, specifically?"

"Because it's my favorite one. I take my bets very seriously, Anna."

"You need help."

The sea of students around them seemed to thicken as they approached the food court. It was a modest structure when compared with the soaring, grand architecture of the rest of the University of Arendelle. But that did nothing to prevent it from being one of the centers of student activity on campus. After all, the easiest way to a student's heart is certainly through her stomach.

"Really, Anna?" Rapunzel smirked as the pair got in line with trays in hand. "You didn't actually think I hadn't noticed you two ogling each other through the whole lecture, did you?"

"I didn't think I was being that obvious about it!" Anna groaned. "What, do you not approve of her?"

"Oh, no, quite the opposite," Rapunzel assured her, a twinkle in her eye. "I've heard good things about her from some of the other freshmen. Quiet, charming, and ridiculously intelligent. It doesn't hurt that she looks like a frickin' supermodel, either."

"Okay, seriously, where the hell are you hearing all these things?" Anna demanded. "It's literally the first day of classes, and you somehow already know about Roz and Belle. What are you, the goddess of social interaction?"

Rapunzel giggled. "No...but I certainly wouldn't mind if you want to think of me that way. 'Rapunzel, goddess of social interaction.' Has a nice ring to it, no?"

They paid for their food and hurriedly slid into a booth before anybody else could seize the spot. The two of them ate ravenously; neither of them had time to eat breakfast that morning.

"I fink you hood acks her out," Rapunzel said through a bulging mouthful of Caesar salad. She swallowed. "Or at least ask her to study with you sometime."

"Study? Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense, considering it's the first day of class." Anna sat with her head in her hands, pondering how best to approach the situation with Belle. She had finished her own meal a number of minutes ago; the speed at which she had devoured her potato salad prompted a number of incredulous and slightly disgusted exclamations from Rapunzel.

"Did you not hear the homework Roz assigned? We're supposed to write a 3000 word essay on basic lab safety, due next class."

"...you're kidding me, right?"

"Yeah. I am. You caught me." Rapunzel grinned. "The homework is just reading the textbook. But that could still be an excuse to study with Belle...I'm leaving the definition of 'study' completely open-ended for you."

Anna blushed deeply. "Stop it, 'Punzie. I'm just nervous, okay? I don't have too much experience with dating, and I just don't want to mess this up with - "

"Ahem. Um...hi."

Anna looked up to see who the newcomer was. _Speak of the devil_, she groaned.

It was Belle.

She was still dressed in that casual and cute outfit she had on in GenChem. Now that Anna was getting the whole view, she could see _exactly_ how Belle's jeans hugged the curves of her shapely, slim legs.

Anna felt an uncomfortable heat rush to both her face and her center.

"H-hi," she stuttered. Belle offered a shy smile in return.

Anna was normally fairly suave about talking to people. She may have rambled on occasion (a complete understatement, to be sure), but generally, she was able to keep a level head on her shoulders.

But Belle somehow rendered all of her social skills obsolete. In her presence, Anna was an inept idiot, a bumbling buffoon, a fumbling fool. It wasn't as if she had never been a part of the dating game before. Quite the contrary, in fact. She'd experienced her fair share of relationships with boys (and girls, once she had stopped lying to herself and admitted that females were infinitely more attractive than the gorillas that society had somehow mislabeled as "men") in high school. But Anna had never known that she had a mental on-off switch for her social savvy until Belle came along and flipped it for her.

Now, Anna had absolutely no clue as to how to proceed. She cast a glance at Rapunzel, hoping her roommate would be able to offer some discreet advice in the form of a subtle facial expression or gesture.

Unfortunately for Anna, an infuriatingly sly expression coupled with a waggling eyebrow could hardly be classified as "discreet." Or "subtle." Or even "advice," for that matter.

Anna was just sitting there staring at Rapunzel with a horrified expression. Rapunzel was staring right back with a suggestive gleam in her eyes. And Belle was staring at both of them, completely bemused and slightly nonplussed.

_Well. This couldn't be more awkward._

"I...uh...just realized I have somewhere to be," Rapunzel said suddenly with a devious tone of voice. "Like, somewhere else. As in not here. Bye!"

And then she was gone, leaving an indignant, panicking Anna and a perplexed Belle in her wake.

_No. Fucking. Way. Holy shit. I'm going to strangle her later. She brought this upon herself._

After a few tense moments, Belle slid into the newly vacated seat across from Anna. "Your friend's really subtle, huh?" She gave a nervous chuckle.

"Y-yeah, she is. Her name's Rapunzel, just in case you were wondering. Weird name, huh? It's from one of those European countries, like Scandinavia or Norway or something, but she's not from any of those places because she's from Corona, you know, Corona? A few hours from here? Like 'crown' in Spanish. Or 'beer' in English, I guess. Sorry...I'm rambling again, huh?"

Belle giggled softly. "It's cute, don't worry. I guess it's sort of refreshing since most people tend to be..._taciturn_, I suppose, when they hang around me." She gestured vaguely in the direction that Rapunzel had left in. "So, are you two…?"

"What? Oh, gosh, no! No, no, no, we're just roommates, don't worry."

She knew Belle had been trying to conceal it from her, but Anna spied her breathing a tiny little sigh of relief. She adjusted her glasses (a nervous tic, Anna had noticed). "Oh, that's nice. So how are you enjoying the university so far?"

They made idle small talk for at least another 20 minutes, although Anna felt like it was only five. She was gradually starting to ease into the swing of things, and the awkwardness between the two began to fade (admittedly, she slipped up once by talking about the weather...not exactly one of her shining moments). Belle was easy to talk to; she was demure, intelligent, and incredibly charming. In the event that a miracle occurred and Anna actually said something witty, Belle was always prepared with a verbal jab of her own.

But the time finally came for Belle to leave so she wouldn't be late for a book club meeting. All of a sudden, the awkwardness returned. Anna walked Belle to the food court entrance, her hands jammed into her jean pockets. She definitely felt a little disappointed that their time was up already, but she was afraid to display it and have Belle deem her immature. But Anna had never been one to conceal her emotions anyway. So as they stopped to say their goodbyes, she scuffed the ground with her sneaker, scrutinized her nails, and basically looked everywhere but into Belle's beautiful hazel eyes. It was petty, but it was satisfying.

"So..." Belle said.

"So," Anna echoed, pretending to be intensely interested in her beat-up sneakers.

"Thanks for today. It was fun," Belle remarked, a hint of a smile in her voice. "I've never met anyone quite like you."

"Same for you," Anna mumbled.

"Well...I'll see you around, I guess?"

Belle had already turned around and begun gliding away when Anna suddenly blurted out, "_Wait!_"

_Shit. You're absolutely bursting with elegance today, aren't you?_

Belle turned around, a quizzical (and dare Anna think it, expectant?) expression on her face. "Yes?"

"Can we...can we do something like this again?" Anna asked sheepishly. "I mean, I just like spending time with you, that's all."

Belle broke out into the widest, most radiant smile that Anna had ever seen. It reminded her of the sun: it was dazzling, it was brilliant, and it brought warmth to everything it touched. Anna felt pleasant shivers travel up her spine just looking at it. "Yes, I'd like that a lot. Perhaps we could study together sometime?"

Anna nodded enthusiastically, feeling like a dog desperate for the attention of its owner. "That sounds fantastic. You know where to find me, right?"

"Of course. It's been hard to get your room out of my head ever since you banged your head and nearly brought the building down," Belle quipped.

"Quiet, you."

Belle laughed. "See you later, Anna."

Anna waved. "Bye!"

She bounded away, light on her feet and light-hearted. She could hardly wait to tell Rapunzel the fantastic news.

And then she remembered she was scheduled to strangle a certain mischievous brunette.

* * *

It was three in the morning. She'd spent the past two hours tossing and turning in bed, unable to fall asleep, because she had thoughts of Belle parading through her mind. And she was hungry. Okay, to be fair, it was probably mostly because she was hungry. She did her best to ignore it, but a grumbling stomach was simply not to be denied.

Anna got out of bed at an agonizingly slow pace, struggling to stay quiet so as to not wake up her slumbering roommate (she ended up not strangling Rapunzel, purely out of the goodness of her heart).

Alas, her efforts were for naught. Honestly, that slipper came out of nowhere.

With a thunderous crash, Anna slipped and banged shoulder-first into her nightstand. The racket she made was quite impressive, really, especially considering how she was an aspiring figure skater.

Groaning and cursing, she massaged her sore shoulder and peered up at Rapunzel. The girl was still snoring obnoxiously, sprawled on her stomach with one hand dangling over the side of the bed and the other clutching her pillow. _Screw it. I bet she'd sleep through a nuclear apocalypse. _

Still wincing and muttering, Anna got up and groped blindly in the dark for her bag, fishing out a five-dollar bill once she found it. Putting on a pair of slippers, she stumbled out into the dark hallway. _Where's a vending machine when you need one?_

Unfortunately, the nearest machine was a five-minute walk, and Anna wasn't feeling totally up for it. But no price was too steep to pay when the payoff was a delicious chocolate bar made with chocolate-y love by loving chocolatiers. At least, that's what Anna told herself as a form of mental preparation.

Five torturous minutes later, Anna sat down on a bench near the vending machine. In her hand, she shamelessly grasped not one, but _four_ chocolate bars. It was a wonder how she managed to stay thin. She was just about to dig in when…

"Yoo-hoo!"

_Oh, no. What now?_

She looked up, chocolate still in hand, looking just like a deer caught in headlights.

Standing in front of her was, hands down, the largest man she had ever seen. He had at least a foot on Kristoff, and Kristoff was no tiny fellow. But the odd thing was, he didn't look intimidating in the slightest. On the contrary, his tubby physique, impressive moustache, and buoyant smile made Anna feel completely at ease. Perhaps that was dangerous in itself.

The man was wearing an officer uniform with "_Arendelle University Campus Security"_ emblazoned on the breast. Anna's heart sank at the sight.

"Is everyting okay 'ere, meesus?"

_Oh, god, he has an accent, and I struggle with normal English on a good day. Okay. Okay. When in doubt, smile and nod. _

Anna did just that. To her relief, the guard seemed to accept her answer without further suspicion. But to her chagrin and horror, he plopped down on the bench next to her and let out a humongous sigh that rippled his mustache.

"So, vat brings yoo out 'ere at an hour like thees?"

_He's asking me a question. Why is he asking me a question? Oh, god, I have to answer a question. Is he angry? Just act normal. Maybe he'll leave me alone._

"Um...the chocolate levels in my system were getting dangerously low." Anna took an excessively large bite out of her first bar. "Want a piece?" she mumbled around a mouthful of chocolate.

"Oh, no, don't vorry about me. I'm just happy to see another face at a time like dees, yoo know?

_Aw, he's lonely._

"Well, we can be friends then, if you want! I'm Anna." She stuck out her chocolate-stained hand.

The guard beamed and engulfed her hand in one of his own pudgy ones, not seeming to mind the chocolate smears at all. "Nice to meet yoo, Anna. I'm Oaken."

"Oaken, huh? That's a nice name." She waved carelessly at the surrounding campus. "So you work the night shift here?"

"Ya...it gits preety boring out 'ere all by myself," Oaken said sadly. "It's only ven students go out partying and git real crazy dat I ever 'ave anyting to do."

"Why don't you find a job you actually enjoy, then?"

"Oh, I yoost to verk at te arena, but I got laid off a while back. I'm still very good buddies wit de staff dere doh, and dey gave me a spare key so I can visit venever I vant!"

Anna gasped. "The arena? As in..._the _Arendelle Arena?"

"Ya."

"Oh, my goodness, I've always _dreamed_ of going inside there, I mean, I've only ever seen it on T.V. and stuff, but all the big-name skaters compete and perform there and, well, seeing as how I'm kind of a skater myself - "

"Vate, vate, vate. Yoo are a skater?" Oaken broke out into a broad grin. "Magnificent! I loov to vatch figure skating! Are yoo very good?"

Anna let out a sheepish laugh. "I mean, I'm not _fantastic_ or anything, but I guess I'm decent enough. But going pro has always been this big dream of mine."

Oaken gave a booming chuckle. "Vell, maybe I ken 'elp yoo wit dat, ya? I cood take yoo dere after hours sometime, yoo know. Let yoo git a feel for de place."

Anna was in utter shock and disbelief. Had Christmas come early? "B-but wouldn't you lose your job or get in trouble or something?"

He scoffed. "Don't vorry about my _job_. My wife does vell enough operating a sauna, so it von't matter dat much. Besides, I'd be glad to help out a nice kid like yoo, ya?"

Anna grinned. "That'd be wonderful, thank you." She suddenly remembered something, and whipped her phone out of her pajamas (she never went anywhere without it). "Hey, do you mind if I text my friend really quickly?"

Oaken gave a dismissive wave. "Oh, ya, ya, sure, take your time."

Anna nodded and fired off a quick message to Kristoff.

'_is the next practice at the same time?'_

She wasn't really expecting a response considering it was 3 a.m., but to her surprise, Kristoff replied instantly.

'_yea. y r u still up?'_

'_i met a friend. why are YOU still up?'_

'_sven crapped all over the kitchen counter and rolled in it. im still trying 2 figure out how he got up there. frickin ninja puppy, i swear'_

'_LOL give him a goodnight kiss for me!'_

'_hell no, not when he reeks of satans asshole rn. go 2 sleep'_

Anna chortled and turned to Oaken, smiling from ear to ear. "Hey, Oaken. You said you liked figure skating, right? How'd you like to come watch me practice tomorrow?"

Oaken perked up. "Cood I, really? I'd loov to!"

"Great!" Anna turned conspiratorially to Oaken. "So...what was that about a key into Arendelle Arena?"

"Oh, ya, ve cood go venever yoo vant. A lot of beeg-name skaters book de place for practice venever dere aren't any competitions. De next beeg one eesn't for another five months or so, I hear."

"What, really? So what's going on in the arena for the next five months?"

Oaken shrugged. "I heard some reech skater booked a four-hour time slot every day to prepare for dat beeg competition. But yoo're still velcome to visit venever, and," he dropped his voice down to a stage whisper, "I bet yoo cood even seet in on 'er practices eef yoo're quiet about eet, ya?"

Anna froze. "Wait a second. 'Her?' Do you know this skater's name?"

"Eh, dat really popular and reech one everyone loovs, ya? De pretty blonde one. 'Er name's Edna Mode, or something. No, vate. Dat vas somebody else. But 'er first name definitely starts vit an 'E,' and 'er last name vas 'Daniel' or someting."

The next morning, Anna had to feign innocence when Rapunzel told a spooky story about "a squealing banshee" that, despite all odds, somehow managed to wake her up in the middle of the night.


End file.
